Announcing a New Baby (Project): Adoption Stories

Newly adopted me and my adoptive mom.

In April 2021, the Huffington Post published my essay, “This Is What No One Tells You About Adoption,” and the response was overwhelming–messages from people touched by adoption immediately flooded my inbox.

I heard from adoptees, birth mothers, adult children of adopted mothers, and adoptive parents, many of them bubbling over with their stories of adoption. My essay moved people touched by adoption to reach out to me, a stranger, and lay themselves bare by telling me their stories. I was dumbfounded and humbled.

I wrote my recently published memoir, Unnatural Selection, because I wanted people who aren't touched by adoption to consider the particular brand of loneliness that many adoptees experience–I wanted to speak my truth. I’m very lucky–my book was published and it’s out in the world for anyone to read. I’ve said my piece.

But what about all the people who contacted me–what could I do for them?

This: I offered to interview them and publish their words on my blog. Eight of them took me up on my offer, gifting me their time and trust, and the Adoption Stories Project was born!

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and I will observe it by posting two Adoption Stories a week, one each Monday and Wednesday for the month of November on my blog.

I want to thank everyone who allowed me to interview them; it was an intimate and enlightening experience. I have edited the interviews for length and clarity but not for content; each Adoption Story has a viewpoint unique to its author. You may see your views reflected in these stories, and you may see them challenged. The point is that adoption is not binary; it is neither exclusively good nor exclusively bad. Adoption is a “both/and” thing: it’s complex and nuanced. It’s in need of reform. It brings great joy to some. It brings great sorrow to others. At times it does both simultaneously.

Our world is experiencing a crisis of identity, with a trend toward splitting off into individuated, self-defined units. My hope is that you’ll read these stories with an open heart and a level mind, and that you’ll consider some of adoption’s complexities in ways you hadn’t done before.

Reflecting on identity and origins is perhaps the most powerful way we can resist the trend of individuation and polarization; it helps us connect with others: our immediate and extended families, our larger human family, and our planet.